An unemployed husband for four years, so living off one income,
and living in renovations for four years, incomplete, and a constantly messy house.
I feel completely under stress and I'm wondering if these have any bearing on it. I've lived this way so long now so I forget it may be causing me so much grief.
that's a joke.
unemployed for 4 years.
if i were you i would just lock him out of the house and tell him to go look for a job, once you are out on the road, you really do find a lot of diff types of work.
( works every time, i personally know 3 people who got jobs like this)
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Sunday, June 28th, 2009 at 2:46 am
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June 28th, 2009 at 8:36 am
Umm this would be a huge problem for me. I would put my foot down, unemployed for that long is weighing on you then to top if off a messy house when you come home. Talk to your man!
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June 28th, 2009 at 9:10 am
Yes it does. You are probably looking in the mirror everyday asking yourself, Why do I tolerate this! I would be depressed too. You could live on your own in a place that is clean without an unemployed husband that you now resent. Yes all of the stress is on you, not him, he has mama to take care of him!
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June 28th, 2009 at 9:40 am
it's like a tick that is slowly sucking the life out of you. you need to get a change NOW. why does he not work??? any GOOD excuse? if he is not working why does he finish up the renovation? or get a job to pay for them to get finished? i would leave….but i don't know everything about your situation. if he is lazy and has no motivation in life then get the heck out!!!! move or get away for a week or two to a family's house or something. see how life is away from all that….if it gets better then you know what the issue is.
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June 28th, 2009 at 10:16 am
It sounds to me like you have reached your breaking point. He needs to get a job. He can get on monster.com, careerbuilder.com and put his resume on there. Until then, he needs to start cleaning up. Yes, when I come home after working all day to a messy house, my blood pressure goes up, I can feel the anger. I've lived with the renovations thing – stuff all over, everything looks 1/2 done, it will stress you out. Now if my man were at home all day every day not doing anything to help the situation, I'd be doubly upset. Good luck to you.
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June 28th, 2009 at 10:52 am
My heart goes out to you! I am in a sort of a same situation the only difference is I am given Aussie. $75 a week. I have lived like this for 15 years now. I hate my home, I hate the environment I live in, I just hate. I know that if I was in the house on my own I would have the money to pay someone else to do things, I would have some money left over just for me – Something that hasn't happened for all those years.
My stress levels are shocking, my unhappiness is out of control and I suffer from chronic depression.
I decided a couple of months ago things really had to change before I did something stupid and I mean really stupid.
Mr XX got told that from now on he would be 1. be doing the work or paying for the work to be done. 2. Moving out.
I gave him the figure work with him living here and also the figure work without him living here. He thought that I was bluffing until I gave him 2 weeks notice to leave, 'if you don't go I will have all your stuff dumped on the nature strip', I started grabbing his gear and shoving it into a big plastic bag.
He got the message big time! At least now the things are getting done. It's not perfect by any means but it has relieved some of the pressure.
You have a bigger problem with him being out of a job. Maybe if you do the job bit first then threaten to throw him out it just might work better.
It's either you get a job to help pay for what needs doing around here or find yourself living with your -parents-, -best friend-, -family-, you get the idea.
You have XXX amount of time to do this (only give him 1 month max) or your going, I can live here on my own for half of what I am now paying out. Your time of budging and using me up is over. You have had 5 years now it my turn!
Follow the rules or the locks on the doors will be changed and all your stuff left on the nature strip.
Good luck, you should get the same results as I did. By no means it's not perfect but my stress levels have dropped compared to what they were. My thoughts and good wishes are with you all the way!
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June 28th, 2009 at 11:23 am
Nobody who wants to work is "unemployed" for 4 years. That's funny. Your husband is a lazy. What does he do all day if he isn't working? Cleaning the house? Doesn't sound like it.
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June 28th, 2009 at 11:38 am
that's a joke.
unemployed for 4 years.
if i were you i would just lock him out of the house and tell him to go look for a job, once you are out on the road, you really do find a lot of diff types of work.
( works every time, i personally know 3 people who got jobs like this)
References :
http://whatis-marriage.blogspot.com